Comments on: How Much Do You Rely on Your Parents for Money?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 10:54:51 +0000

First off, if you grew up having to buy clothes at thrift stores, that means your family had a working class income, not lower middle class income. Like you, I grew up the same way, and though I considered myself lower middle class at the time (and lived in a middle class neighborhood and home), we didn't belong there. Nobody else in the neighborhood shopped at thrift stores. No lower middle class person has to shop at thrift stores. They may choose to, but they certainly don't have to. I'm smart enough that if I'd been able to afford to continue my eduction after I got my state college degree, I could easily have worked my way into the upper middle class (I was always on the Dean's List, and scored in the top 1 percentile in the nation on the verbal portion of the SAT), and people always assume that I am upper middle class due to my vocabulary and sensibilities. It's not a comfortable existence.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:56:24 +0000

I have never asked for help with money the whole time that I have been out on my own. Yes, this meant that I ate a lot of cup of noodles, but I always put money away for if I ever needed it. My mom ended up borrowing $800 from me to help with her house payments. I still don't expect her to pay me back.

My husband on the other hand has asked and has no problem asking for help from his parents. This irks me to no end. They paid for his college, his trip to France, his trip around the USA, you name it. I think I won the respect of his dad by telling him that I would try and keep his son's eyes only as big as his own wallet. Since then my darling hubby has toned it down a bit. We still rely on his mom to let us use her laundry machines every week since we had a baby (those babies go through a lot of clothes!). His mom and grandma also buy a bulk of the clothes for the baby, but we never ask for them to, I think they are just excited to have a little girl around. My husband was an only child, and this is their only grandkid.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 May 2010 18:42:21 +0000

I came from a middle class home and while they were frugal, my parents invested in a private (Catholic) education for my sister and myself. We always went on at least one vacation per year. Beginning in high school, I was expected to purchase my own clothes and other necessities. My sister and I shared an old Plymouth Fury car that we bought ourselves. It was an expectation that we would graduate from college, but we were expected to contribute to our education.

I paid for about 1/2 of my undergraduate education, but was able to do so with summer earnings... graduated debt free! I went on to teach on an Indian Reservation (very low cost housing!) for two years.

I paid for my graduate degree, and have never asked (or expected) any help from my parents in the 26 years since I have graduated from college.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:25:29 +0000

I think some people miss the point when they say their parents help out with sports, etc. The problem is there are many "adults" out there with jobs and parents who aren't rich who ask their parents for money month after month because they want to live like people who make $100k when they only make $60k. I personally have a few acquaintances like this and it is truly disgusting, especially when the parents do seem to be struggling.

By: traineeinvestor

traineeinvestor — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 04:36:24 +0000

The Millionaire Next Door has some interesting sections on economic outpatient care which should be mandatory reading for all parents contemplating supporting adult children.

I was lucky in that my parents paid for my university education (at a low cost institution) for which I am grateful. They also paid part of our wedding costs - which I tried to refuse but ended up taking because they had already given the same amount to my siblings when they got married and they were very insistent on treating all their children equally.

These days we argue over bills for meals out etc - each of us trying to pay for the others.

While I know my parents (and my siblings for that matter) would help out should an urgent need ever arise, in any other circumstances I would be mortified at the thought of taking their money.

By: Stella

Stella — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 21:20:32 +0000

Haven't relied on my parents for money in YEARS. They did pay for my college education (Thanks!) and my Dad loaned me $5k so I could fix up my condo (repaid in full), but other than that it's all on me.

How in the world does someone so irresponsible and frivolous become a personal finance writer for the Washington Post?

By: Kosmo @ The Casual Observer

Kosmo @ The Casual Observer — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:01:12 +0000

My parents bought me a dorm fridge (~$100) as a graduation present, let me stay at home during breaks and summers. That was basically the entirety of the financial support I received.

However, they were small farmers without much money. Also, I was the youngest of 8 kids and the only one to attend college. So even if they could have afforded to pick up some of the cost, it wouldn't have been equitable.

Now, at 34, I make more money than my parents ever did. I'm not rich, but I never worry about being able to pay the electric bill, either. I enjoy being in the middle class.

By: nklsmom

nklsmom — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 17:08:19 +0000

I'm gonna shock the system here.. I DO ask my dads for money. I have 2 - one biological who is here in PA and one in CA who adopted me when he married my mom. My bio dad pays for all sports that DS wants to play and any equipment that goes with it. I don't feel even remotely guilty. He and his wife make an amazing living and want to provide for their only grandchild. I could never afford the number of sporting teams/clubs that my son wants to try. He doesn't EVER pay for anything for me. I have asked him for ONE loan in the last ten years when I lost my job and paid it back when I got my tax return.
My father in CA has helped when I've had major car issues and refuses to take the money back. He feels that it is his job to help his kids, period. No matter what I need I know he would send it in a heartbeat. He has always provided well for myself and my brother in a slightly higher than middle class way. He never bought me a car but was allowed to drive his without paying for insurance. When I went to college, he paid. I don't feel that I'm a bad person in any way for relying on them when I have. They both feel that DS should have all they can give (within reason obviously) when I can't afford to do it.
xoxo-nklsmom

By: me in millions

me in millions — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:34:44 +0000

I'm where I am today because of my parents and their orientations about money. It's something I write about in the blog a lot. However, I don't like going to them to ask for money (even though it's not to repay debt), because I like feeling independent. I'm grateful and lucky that my parents paid for college and I left with no debt. I'm interested to read this book now…

By: Keith Morris

Keith Morris — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:19:33 +0000

I'm ahead of my parents financially, so I don't ask them for money. But AARP released a study last year stating that 68% of their members have adult aged children that still depend on them for financial support. It's probably the main reason LifeTuner was born!