Archive for June 27, 2010

Men Weigh In: Do You Want to Be the Primary Financial Provider for Your Family?

Earlier this week I wrote a post called Do Women Still Want to Marry for Money? A lot of women weighed in on the topic and some suggested that men prefer to be the primary financial support of their families.

While it’s true that most men do make more money than their wives, I wonder how many of them really prefer it that way. For a few years just before my husband and I were married I made more than he did. It wasn’t a significant difference, but overall I brought in about 20% more per paycheck. During this time he jokingly called me his sugar-momma, but honestly I think he was proud of the fact that he married a woman who could pull her own weight. My larger paycheck never caused an issue for either of us.

When we first talked of having children, (we don’t have any yet), my husband remarked that he’d like to spend some time at home with our kids. He said it’s not fair for women to assume they should be the ones to stay at home and raise the children. He said a lot of his male friends and coworkers would accept the position if they were given the opportunity.

I’m absolutely fascinated by this topic, because as a woman in a particularly male dominated industry, (software development), I meet an awful lot of miserable husbands and fathers who would rather be anywhere than working 9-to-5 in a cubicle. When I talk to them about money they often say they wish their wives worked and made more. In fact, a lot of men I know are shocked when their children go off to school and their wives want to continue to stay at home. Some of them have said they are now living a life they didn’t bargain for.

I’d love to hear the men weigh in on this topic. Do you want to be the primary financial provider for your family or were you forced into the role? If you were forced into the role, do you think you were forced in by your society and upbringing? In other words do you think you make more money, because you were always told that men should make a lot of money and provide for their families? At the end of the day there is no right or wrong answer. But I wonder, regardless of your situation are you happy in the role that you play in it?

June 27, 2010 at 3:20 AM 14 comments


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