Comments on: How Would You Spend The Next Year if You Knew It Was Your Last?

By: Chrissy

Chrissy — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:42:19 +0000

Having grown up with a working mum I would never stay home. I am also a big fan of kindergarten and day-care, because I think these can give my child better opportunities in dealing with today’s society. They have experience to exploid my child’s intellectual and social needs that I simply do not have. It is also important for any child to deal with not only adults but also other children for long periods of time to be prepared for school. Staying at home sure has advantages for children, but it also has a lot of social and intellectual disadvantages. All these posts talk about what staying at home has meant to the mothers, not what going to kindergarden and day-care means for the children. I would not want to switch these experiences I had for the world. I am sure it has helped me deal better with others and explore my talents. Through the talks with the teachers my mother definitely also learnt of my needs (intellectually) more than she would have otherwise.
The other question is: When you are 70 you might struggle financially due to staying away from the job-market for some years and then you will be a burden to your child – emotionally for sure. Is this worth staying at home now?

By: Margie

Margie — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 16:01:25 +0000

I have a 7.5 month old baby girl and I must admit I’ve had these same conversations in my head – stay home or work? Right now, I’ve chosen to continue to work but I am extremely lucky to have a few things working in my favor: a) the daycare my daughter goes to is at my work. I can enjoy lunch and breaks with her as often as I can get away from my desk. b) my boss is also a mother (of teenagers) and understands the challenges of being a working parent. If I slip in the door at 8:30 instead of 8 because my baby blew out her diaper and needed an outfit change, she looks the other way; and c) I absolutely LOVE my job and find immense satisfaction in what I do.

HOWEVER, my husband and I have discussed me reducing my hours to part-time when my little one starts kindergarten because I don’t want her to go to an after school program, I’d rather be there to pick her up and take her home to help with homework. So, that’s my goal – be able to reduce my hours in half in 4ish years.

I truly think that this is such a personal decision – often charged with feelings of guilt on both sides of the equation – it’s not easy. But you will make the right decison for you!

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 02:24:46 +0000

In reply to Sense. Oh Sense I love your question. I love looking at it in reverse and wondering what my 70 year old self would think. It's like looking back on my 20s. I have so much advice for myself. I love the idea of flashing forward to think what advice I would give myself in my 70s! Thanks for commenting.

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 02:23:12 +0000

In reply to Pam. That's exactly what I think! The more I watch my son grow the more I realize that he'll be grown in no time. I don't want to miss a minute of it right now!

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 02:22:33 +0000

In reply to Newlyweds on a Budget. Thanks Erika. I feel like I keep repeating myself over and over again, but it's been an extremely difficult decision to make. I never would've guessed it would be so hard for me to decide. My head takes me in one direction and my heart in another!

By: Newlyweds on a Budget

Newlyweds on a Budget — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:27:19 +0000

I love that you write about this topic on your blog because even though I’m still about 2 years away from even thinking about having a baby, staying at home is something I think about often. I would LOVE to stay at home, but at the same time I don’t know if it’s a financial decision I can afford. I also would love to have some intellectual stimulation. And the other thing I think about is how tired I would be ALL the time if I had to work full time AND raise a child. I mean, how do women DO that?! I work 7:30 to 5, and what about working out? ANd how am I supposed to fit a child into my schedule? It’s just nuts…
It’s just so so hard. I would love to consider a part time opportunity, but I don’t even know if my company would allow that…I doubt it : (

By: Sense

Sense — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 06:54:42 +0000

And yes, barring spending more time with my family (that’s a duh, but we gotta pay for food somehow!!), I would have chosen to do my job for the past year. Maybe with more travel to other places where I could study the subject that my job is based on, though! 🙂 I think better questions would be: When you’re 70, do you think you’ll look back and regret staying home with your kid? What WOULD you be willing to spend your free time reading up on while away from the work force??

By: Sense

Sense — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 06:47:07 +0000

It depends on what you value most, I suppose, which is what that question was getting at. Maybe it is time to take a step away from the rat race, spend some time with your family, and explore what career would make your heart sing, if that is something that you are looking for in your life. I found mine and even though I’ve recently been laid off, I’ll never regret these years when I had the job that I felt helped me fulfill my purpose in life. If you are the type (like me) that needs intellectual stimulation, would this be an option for you? Have you any idea what you would do other than software development? Any hobbies that you could turn into something else? A fascination with a certain subject?

By: Pam

Pam — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:46:47 +0000

As a mom on the other end of the spectrum (mine are 16 and 20), I’ll never regret the years I spent home with my kids. I make less than I would have if I hadn’t stayed home for 9 years, but we have everything we need. It sounds cliche’, but you’ll never get these years back.