Comments on: An Uncomfortable Relationship With Wealth

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Wed, 19 May 2021 03:16:10 +0000

In reply to ConfusedDunedinNz. I can't offer much advice other than to say that I understand exactly how you feel. Sometimes we want to be the most authentic versions of ourselves, but it feels impossible to do that without feeling the judgments of others. As I age, I try to worry less about what others think and spend more time trying to decide how to be a better version of myself. If I am honest, trustworthy, kind, and compassionate it shouldn't matter how much money I have or spend. I haven't convinced myself fully of that, but I am working on it! If I lived near you I have a feeling we would be good friends.

By: ConfusedDunedinNz

ConfusedDunedinNz — Wed, 19 May 2021 01:40:17 +0000

OMG I relate to you hard out! I came from privilege BUT went through several years of near homelessness and now my husband and I are very comfortable. I already feel extremely self-conscious about people knowing our circumstances and they keep getting better at a pace that my comfort level cannot keep up with. I really want a Volvo XC60 but if I get one I feel like all hell will break loose. I’m already treated differently at my work (gossipy pricks) and I already get embarrassed about that. But my old danger (it’s a 2001 Toyota Vitz that I love! – I call her Ruby) is not the most comfortable ride and it’s not the safest ride either. I “should” just buy the damn Volvo and be done with it but they are very pricey (I am from NZ where they cost a lot) and I just know I will turn bright red getting out of it in certain contexts. Why am I this way? I don’t dress up or even wear make-up most of the time. I mean I don’t look like a toothless hobbo but I feel a very strong drive to not stand out as “the rich girl” but sometimes I feel people suss it out anyway. It’s making me unhappy. None of my friends have much money either – and that makes i so much worse. If there is a chick like me in or around Otago can we be friends please – I always feel like a liar and a fake because we live very modestly as we are both very private. Arghhh!

By: Nick

Nick — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 01:54:01 +0000

When I think back to my childhood and youth, it’s not money that comes to mind at all. It is happiness. Enjoyment, simple as it comes. And I consider myself lucky to have been able to continue in this vein. One used to “save” but now it’s all about wealth. How to “manage” it. I’d hate to have to hide any wealth. So I’d rather not have it to avoid this premeditated conceitedness. We laugh a lot at home. Lots of smiles and fun. How about you?

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 20:56:31 +0000

In reply to Blair@LifeDollarsandSense. Beautiful comment! I wish everyone in the world though the way you do about a person's character.

By: Blair@LifeDollarsandSense

Blair@LifeDollarsandSense — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 13:53:08 +0000

This is a very interesting view. I am still making it in the world….but I can relate to your car comment. If I ever end up with plenty of money I know that I will never drive a flashy, $100K sports car. No way. I will drive something nice but reasonable. I have a lot of respect for individuals that are well off but live fairly average day to day lives. I don’t think your situation should be something to be ashamed of. I went to a private college (scholarship kid) and I never judged my peers for being rich (or poor). I judge them by their character. Money has little to do with who you are as a person. I think that is why I am comfortable talking about it on my blog.

By: Newlyweds on a Budget

Newlyweds on a Budget — Mon, 04 Nov 2013 21:47:49 +0000

I remember thinking rich people were like a different species when I was growing up. Through a scholarship program, I was able to attend a private high school and everyone there was significantly wealthy in comparison to my family. I was surprised by how “normal” everyone was though. It sounds nutty now, but it was honestly a concern that rich people would be different. Of course, they didn’t consider themselves “rich” bc someone else is always more rich than you. I guess wealth is all relative.

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Mon, 04 Nov 2013 21:25:29 +0000

Interesting links! Thanks for sharing.

By: Liquid

Liquid — Mon, 04 Nov 2013 16:12:23 +0000

I don't reveal my income to other people for the same reason. I don't want to be associated with being wealthy because people judge others who are different from themselves. I think other finance bloggers are in the same boat as you. We value money but don't feel comfortable talking about our personal finances with coworkers or friends :) Sometimes discretion is necessary if we want to fit in. Sam also wrote a post today about this topic.