I’d love to say I got over this quickly, but in reality it took years. You must believe that your worth extends beyond your earning power. Your non-financial contributions are just as important as earning more money to pay your bills. It isn’t an easy hurdle to push through, so sometimes it helps to create a list of ways you contribute. Seeing it in black and white helps. Getting your husband on the same page is equally important. Make sure he understands your contributions and can support your transition. Ask yourself, “how will our lives be better if I don’t work?” They will be better financially if you keep your job, but don’t discount all of the other benefits of leaving work!

Omg, so much this. I have been able to support myself financially for over 20 years! I worked through college, got grants for grad school, worked assistantships, then have been in the working world ever since. My kids are 4&6 now, and the pull to stay home with them is greater than ever (I totally relate to your other post about leaving a high paying career.) And I don’t know why this concept of not pulling in a paycheck gets to me so much. We don’t even need my paycheck— and same as you, our money is “ours.” So how did you get over this feeling?

I wouldn’t change my trajectory based on that, but when I left I definitely didn’t calculate the long term costs that way. It’s so important to see what you are giving up!