Comments on: Birthday Party Gift Etiquette for Adults: Rules for Gifts

By: Slinky

Slinky — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:56:44 +0000

In general, open if requested by guests, or as you see fit. If opening later, make sure to thank people by card or in person.

Another situation to note: Sometimes not everyone will bring a gift. This happened at my graduation party. Some people brought a card or gift and others didn't. In that situation, I opened later so that no one felt bad for not bringing a gift. Since I wasn't expecting any, they didn't need to feel bad, but this way, it's all good.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:42:54 +0000

Large birthday parties for adult or weddings-wait. A solitary gift to someone, a child's birthday or a shower-open now! I love seeing baby gifts-even duplicates especially.

Interesting that this was posted, as I felt a bit offended by my MIL this weekend over a gift situation. The kids and I bought her a birthday gift. My son handed her the gift. She may or may not have thanked him (he doesn't remember) and left it on the kitchen counter. Not one mention after that. I was a little miffed that she didn't acknowledge it as a birthday gift at all. Knowing MIL, we will never know if she even opened the gift. Oh well.

By: Cindy Brick

Cindy Brick — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:10:26 +0000

There's the rub, isn't it…you want her to open your present — so you can see if she likes it or not — but you don't care that much about her opening the other presents!
Opening everything is the given procedure at any kind of shower, but otherwise, I don't think it's that critical. And not opening them means the recipient should be sending thank you notes.
But I'm a bit older — 51 — and grew up in Michigan, where they had showers ad nauseum. Most of the time, I picked my favorite person to sit by, and just talked to them while the umpteenth sleeper set or pack of pickle forks was passed around to admire.

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:48:19 +0000

Based on the comments it's easy to see why the room was divided. I was definitely torn on the situation. On one hand I like to see the recipient open the gifts I provide, on the other hand I can understand why people don't want to sit around for an hour and watch someone else open presents.

In this case the guest of honor chose to open all her gifts. A couple of guests came from quite far away and asked her to open them in front of them. She didn't feel right just opening one or two, so she chose to open them all.

By: It's me ...Mavis

It's me ...Mavis — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:23:41 +0000

I think it is rather strange to give someone a gift and them not open it… Part of giving someone something is so you get to enjoy (hopefully) them opening it. Whether you have 2 or 20 gifts to open… I think you should.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:54:04 +0000

I don't mind for children and family only parties but once you invited people outside your closest family and friends, save the present opening for later.

Andrea

By: Sense

Sense — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:19:32 +0000

i'm 31, and i am pro-opening the gift in front of other people, but I absolutely wouldn't get offended if someone decided not to.

i like the idea of seeing someone open my gift; their reaction helps me guage whether or not my gift was on the mark. seeing their reaction is the best part of giving a gift, to me!

i don't mind opening gifts in front of anyone...in fact that's the only way I've ever done it!

i think it should be up to the giftee to decide when to open. if they are comfortable, great, if not, then take it on home!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:48:00 +0000

I saw a Emily Post article on this not long ago, in reference to a child's birthday party. I like the idea of opening gifts later – that way no one knows if there were duplicates (which can make people feel awkward), and if there is a range in values no one feels bad.

The recipient opens after the party, sends a sincere thank-you note, and that's that. I personally HATE opening gifts in front of everyone – I just had a wedding shower, and it was the most boring hour & a half – even for me! I dont like being the center of attention that long! Everyone's eyes were on me, and I had to be happy & surprised about each gift (which I was thankful, but towards the end my face hurt from smiling 🙁 ).

By: Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:37:40 +0000

I don't like opening presents in front of others, not because I'm afraid of not liking the present, but because *everyone* is staring at me all the time.

I'm 20, and most of my friends are too, and for all the birthday parties that I've attended throughout my life, the birthday boy/girl always opens gifts in front of other people and I've always opened gifts in front of other people. I tried to avoid it for my 20th birthday party, but all my friends were suggesting it.

Plus, there's this running fluke of me getting doubles and triples of books, so they always want to know if they're going to be able to get a photo of me holding up two or three of the same novel.

By: me in millions

me in millions — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:23:58 +0000

I recall doing this at childhood birthday parties and showers, but I always kind of hated it. It's no one's business but the gift receiver's how much you spent on a gift or what you go them.