This comment had me smiling and laughing. I love that you both accept one another for how you are even if it isn’t exactly how you want the other person to be. I think it’s wise to abandon perfection. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be anyway 😉

My husband isn’t a sensitive guy- and I don’t want him to be. I tend to be a little blunt, and I accidentally hurt people’s feelings without meaning to. One of the things that I love about my husband is that he doesn’t get his feelings hurt easily. The down side of that is that he’s not very sensitive about his behavior hurting MY feelings.

I have tried to explain -for the last 18 years- that when I have a bad day, I just want him to LISTEN. I do not want him to offer suggestions, or tell me why it really wasn’t that bad and I should cheer up. He doesn’t get it. He also does not get that it makes me nuts when he won’t just let me daydream aloud about extended vacations and impractical cars without his opinion that we can’t or shouldn’t or whatever. I have mostly given up on that. I tell my vacation dreams to my friends, and when he asks why I had a bad day, I just tell him I don’t want to talk about it.

He is a fantastic husband overall, and I’m quite well aware that I’m a PITA to live with. Most men would run away screaming. Our marriage is really great- we still love being together after 18 years. It’s not perfect, and that’s okay. I’ve abandoned “perfect” as a goal for anything in my life- it’s easier that way.

Oh my goodness I am so excited to read about your journey and see where life takes you. It’s tough when partners aren’t on the same financial page with one another. Have you ever tried to talk to him about your feelings? Like “when I say x I feel like you rain on my parade?” or “why do you turn so negative when we talk about money? Is that something we can talk about so you don’t feel that way?” I know some people don’t love talking about their feelings, (okay most of us don’t), but it might help to calmly talk about this stuff at a time when things aren’t heated. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are acting a certain way or building up walls or raining on parades until someone else helps us see how we can talk without doing those things. Do you think he would be open to those discussions?

Good news though, we crossed another threshold in our portfolio two weeks ago, and he admitted that he’s feeling much more comfortable with me retiring. Which is good because it’s irrevocable at this point. I texted him a picture of an adorable but completely impractical dream car of mine, and he didn’t come up with a list of reasons why I shouldn’t buy one. He said I’d look good in it! Whoo hoo! 35 days to go!

Ouch. Well that’s a whole lot harder for you two to talk then. What about non-work goals? Can you talk about trips, travel, home repairs, etc? Or does he just want to save it all and never spend any for any goals? If that’s the case it’s super hard to have a conversation together, because it really helps to put you on the same page when you can focus on the same goals.

My husband and I are both comfortable talking about money, but I don’t think it has always been that way. We come from very different backgrounds. His parents have a lot of money and mine don’t. So I feel like I was embarrassed early on and didn’t want to open up as much. As time has gone on I’ve completely pushed those feelings aside and now I cannot imagine not talking openly about money with him. If I were you I would take a slightly different approach to a family meeting. Make sure to focus on the goal aspect rather than the financial aspect. You need money to meet your goals, but the important thing is to get on the same page about what you want to do with your life.

By the way my husband won’t talk about wills either. We made one, but he is afraid of death, so that comes with a whole other swirl of emotions for him!