That’s a perfect example of financial advice that doesn’t work for everyone. We own a vacation/rental home that doesn’t return much revenue, but we love it. Finances isn’t just about maximizing your return either!

Mike,

Thank you so much for your comment and for your heartfelt words. I was really upset about the email I received. It was hard to write that post about arguing with my husband. So many people told me it isn’t healthy to argue, but not arguing was making our relationship unhealthier than actively speaking our minds. Every so often we do this a little too loudly, but when life hands you lemons it’s tough to not let the bitterness get to you.

Thank you for sharing your story and for letting me know that we are not alone. Your stresses sound very similar to ours. Owning a small business is incredibly difficult with young kids. We started our business a year before our oldest was born and looking back it’s no wonder we were so incredibly sleep deprived and stressed. I was also officially laid off two weeks after my son was born, which certainly added to our stress.

I was beating myself up about those reader comments until my husband said, “don’t be so hard on yourself.” I suppose it speaks to the strength of our marriage that he was defending me 😉

I wish you all of the best with your business and your marriage. Those early years are tough. If we started our business now, (when our kids are a few years older), we would have had a lot more success!

We have kids, a small business, and for many years now end up working an unhealthy amount of hours (way more than our previous 9-5 lifestyle or what I would consider a “normal” life) to keep things running smoothly. AND it’s been a long 2020.

All of that piles up into a lava field of stress bubbling just under the surface of what shows up on our faces – the faces that we allow other people to see. Occasionally all of that stress erupts into “passionate” arguments between my wife and I. Always respectful, but at times loud and R-rated. Given the context of what’s going on in our lives right now and as long as we don’t cross any lines, I’m OK with occasional “passionate” arguments.

I would find it odd to never argue in a marriage. I want the best life possible for my spouse. She wants the best life possible for me. Arguments can be a vehicle for expressing what is most important in our lives – the “WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME”. Emotions can be a way to communicate when we can’t always find the right words – the “HOW MUCH IS THIS IMPORTANT TO ME”.

…as long as its occasional, and no lines are crossed…

I appreciated the rest of the article as well. I have definitely been guilty of providing “you need to stop doing that and do more of this instead” financial advice in the past, with little notable impact. A good reminder to practice pursuing more understanding and empathy rather than giving out “easy answers”. Maybe in time I will be able to reach someone when it matters. Thank you.