Comments on: Returning Baby Shower Gifts: With and Without Receipts

By: qixx ttxl

qixx ttxl — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:35:37 +0000

On our wedding registry we only registered for the things we actually needed. about 20% gave cash. about 5% got something off the registry. about 5% gave gift cards (to places we did not register). the remaining 70% got things that we did not want/need at places unknown that will sit in the garage until we re-gift them, give them to goodwill, or throw them out.

i now plan to do this for the baby registry with the hope that the stuff we don't want/need will at least come off the registry so we can return it.

By: marci

marci — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:05:12 +0000

Honestly, I've heard of some of my friends doing exactly this. Maybe not 90% of the items they registered for, but going to Target specifically because the items can be returned for a gift card. I wouldn't mind someone taking back any of my gifts to them, I do think it's a little weird to register for something and then return it for the cash, but to each their own.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:56:24 +0000

This takes some serious chutzpah. But honestly, if a friend did this with my gift, I wouldn't care at all.

I have two small kids and do often return gifts of clothing for things that fit better or are more practical. I figure that the gift giver intends my kids to wear the clothes, so it isn't a big deal if I exchange.

But returning baby blankets and buying, say, potato chips? That does seem ... odd.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:46:34 +0000

oh wow, this totally strikes a chord. i am having a baby soon and luckily this time (vs wedding registry), i actually managed to register just for necessities. luckily since we don't know what we're having, we haven't gotten a ton of cute but unnecessary clothes, and people have bought off the registry. i appreciate the sentiment that a gift is to celebrate the baby, and i'm so thankful for the thought, but honestly i need what i need and i don't have a problem returning things that i won't use. i have no problem with the woman's plan. i do agree that it's wasteful, but i think it's the lesser of the evils of waste: she could keep everything she got but resent it (b/c if it were me, i would totally resent using cute stuff that i know cost more than basics), or she could take the gift, thank the giver for the SENTIMENT and TIME (which really is what matters, i think), and use the money for things she felt were most useful. to me this is a win-win.

as a giver, if i buy something on the registry, i think i'm buying something that is useful. i'm not necessarily invested in what it is because you want to give something useful. i would have no problem with someone returning something i got them from the registry if they decided something else was more important.

i could go on...i have really strong opinions about gifts! basically the bottom line for me is that it's not about the gift at all, but about the sentiment. what i do with the gift itself doesn't matter as long as the sentiment is appreciated.

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 03:19:14 +0000

I don't have a problem with this lady buying groceries with her baby gift card. Diapers may be on sale at Walgreens the week chicken is on sale at Target. So she uses baby gift card for groceries and grocery money for diapers. It's all a wash in the end.

By: pidgeon92

pidgeon92 — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:28:03 +0000

Why not just register for the things you really need? You can register for diapers and other essentials. As a gift-giver, I would be perfectly happy to purchase these items.

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:42:59 +0000

Although I understand the woman's desire for cash and gift cards, her actions just seem greedy.

If she really didn't want gifts it seems like she could have asked for contributions to charity or even donated the items she received to help a family in need.

I guess the real question is what is the intention of the gift? To me the intention is to celebrate the birth of the baby. Not to buy the woman groceries for the next month.

While I don't see a problem with returning a few items from the registry I am surprised that she intentionally created a registry with the full intention of returning everything on it.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:06:23 +0000

I wish it was more socially acceptable to simply be able to come out and say "look, money would be most appropriate present so we could buy our own essentials for the baby/wedding/whatever". If it was, that woman simply wouldn't have had the problem.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:49:24 +0000

I think it's wrong. If she were exchanging gifts, that would be one thing. But to register for baby items, just to return it for gift cards for her own use? That's just weird and kind of unethical.

The gifts are supposed to be in relation to the baby. If someone just gives you a gift card at a baby shower, I suppose you are free to use it. But this woman was returning baby items so she could get whatever she wanted.

Ugh.

By: Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife

Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:53:33 +0000

I can see her viewpoint, but I agree that it creates waste for the giftgivers - wasted time, effort, and postage. Not to mention a waste of her time returning the stuff she never wanted in the first place. I think our culture makes it very difficult for people to either ask for or give cash or cash equivalents as gifts. If you ask for cash, you seem greedy and crass. If you offer cash, then there's the issue of the person knowing exactly how much money you thought would be an appropriate gift. It may amount to the same with a registry, but there's at least a thin cloaking of the dollar value.

Personally, I try to give cash to newlyweds or new parents, because honestly that's what would have been most useful to me. If I can't do that, then I will pick something from a registry, or simply ask the person directly what would be most useful. Sometimes people will tell you, other times the cultural prohibitions interfere.