Thank you for this comment. FI can be such a selfish pursuit. If we aren’t careful we continue focusing on piling money into our bank accounts when there are so many other important things in life to pursue. It’s tough to see this while we build our bank accounts, but I hope once people reach FI they will see the beauty in helping others either with their time or money. It’s so much more fulfilling than staring at a large spreadsheet full of numbers.

Hi Mary, Thank you for your comment. I do not have societal expectations to help my family members, but I do believe I will need to help my parents one day. It is difficult to decide how and when to help, especially when external forces are pushing us in specific directions. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. A lot of people feel the same burdens and struggle with these decisions, especially when spouses are involved. Having already reached FI I will say that it’s easier now to give than it has ever been for me. The reason is two-fold. First, I simply see the need to acquire less stuff. Second, the less stuff I buy the more my money is freed for other purposes. Of course, it is much easier to give now that we aren’t still trying to accumulate the pile of money too.

I think of life as one big circle. Life is not a straight line with a destination pointing to one place, it is a round line that encompasses our past, present and future. What kind of a world would we have if everyone simply took and no one had any time or money to give? You know sometimes I don’t even think it’s huge acts of compassion. Sometimes it’s noticing the elderly woman in the grocery store that needs help getting a cart or holding a door for an extra minute for the mom with a stroller. When we come from a place of giving we can see those tiny acts and build a compassionate life moment by moment. Sometimes we need to set aside busy and accomplished for being human.

When we focus too narrowly on any one thing it is difficult to see that other things are going on around us. As I age I realize how important it is to be mindful of my surroundings and always look up.

That is an excellent point. Those who are greedy are typically disliked. Just as those who are selfish or self-serving. Generosity of the spirit involves a general sense of giving of yourself, not just giving time or money, but also kindness, compassion, empathy, etc. I always enjoy your comments and thank you for contributing to the conversation.

The inherently selfish will always find reasons not to give back and to justify it, often using their pursuit of FI as one justification. “I’ll give later” they say. (Later never comes.) The inherently generous will always find ways to give – time, money, activism, something.

Those of us in between the two poles figure out where to be depending on our nature.

I have a scarcity mentality and so I combat that with giving because I know it’s the right thing to do, because I remember that others were generous to me when they didn’t have to be and that made an enormous difference in my life and later on, in my family’s lives. I don’t need to know that we were that difference for someone else. I just need to do my part to be a giver in the ecosystem, not just a taker.

It’s definitely something that can be a problem in the FIRE space (or, as you acknowledged, any space during career building time in particular). Kind of like the way frugality can go too far, I think so can this pursuit of more money and more career.