Yeah, I definitely think it’s difficult to reword the question, because we are all so accustomed to the standard icebreaker. If you try it out come back and let me know how it worked!

Funny enough I tried to ask an alternative question today. I prefaced it with, “I know people usually ask what do you do, but I’m going to switch it up a bit.” Then I asked “how about what do you like to do instead?” It felt strange, but the conversation was much more fun. I love adding “in your free time” to the end. I think that’s a great way to differentiate from the normal “what do you do” icebreaker. I’ll try it next time.

And those responses would probably tell us more about the person, anyway!

When I try to imagine asking that instead of, “What do you for a living?”, though, I feel like it could be awkward, just because I am so used to the livelihood question coming first.

I would definitely prefer to be asked about my hobbies instead of my job, though, because explaining what I do is always a little complicated!

Reading your comment made me pause for a moment. I think being recognized as competent, capable and quite frankly smart was more important than anything in my own mind. The recognition of my abilities defined my worth. I suppose I’ve always felt this way. It’s why I wanted to get straight A’s and be recognized with the best grades on every test. In school I received report cards that ‘verified’ my feelings. At work I had a ‘smart’ sounding title and profession. Since I left work no one knows if I’m smart. I chase my kids around all day, which doesn’t require much brain power. As vain as it sounds I miss that recognition. We see ourselves as others see us and without the recognition it feels as though I’m less competent even though nothing has really changed! Thank you for your comment. It provided a lot of insight into my own story.

Changing up the conversation is a good way to go. We went on a tour-group vacation a few years ago with mostly people in their 50s and 60s. In the 2 weeks on that trip I didn’t hear anyone ask what anyone did (or used to do) once. I have a feeling he farther people are away from jobs (and others that have jobs) the more odd that question becomes.