Thank you for leaving such a long and thought provoking comment. When I look back at certain periods of my life they are definitely “just a blur.” We all need to make money, but I do regret the time that I wasted pushing forward on a job and company that ultimately laid me off. I learned a ton and really enjoyed parts of my career, but I wish I had maintained a better balance between my life in the office and my life outside of it. I think you are right about the pressures of work as companies try to do more with fewer resources and people. I’m glad that you liked this post. It’s good to look back on the things I did right in my life and the things I most certainly did wrong. I hope my words help others question their path and their decisions. Maybe then they won’t have the same regrets that I do about certain periods of my life.

I do remember the parties and out of office night out with colleagues but other than that, everything was just a blur. Sometimes, I end up asking myself, did I waste my months/years doing something I wasn’t in love with or passionate about. I used to have a very demanding job managing teams in multiple geographic location (which meant multiple timezones) and I always missed important occassions and celebrations with my family because I was always needed somewhere else.

My ego created the illusion in my head that my team needs me. I work at the office, I work before I go to the office, I answer emails while on my commute on my way home. I answer calls and emails while at bed until I fall asleep. It felt like a crazy, empty life.

I thought it was me. I wasn’t competent enough. I wasn’t good enough. Until, I met people who were feeling the same way including some of my closest friends who were also like me who pushed ourselves up the corporate ladder in the shortest possible time.

I may be wrong but one of the reasons that I think this is happening around the world is the continuous cost-cutting of companies, streamlining of processes and workforce. Most especially in countries where jobs are outsourced to. In my case, I took over 5 teams (5 timezones). Those teams used to have managers and then it was all transitioned to me. They get to save the labor cost (equivalent to four people) since they found someone willing to do the job (which was me, unfortunately).

The pay was good, but how long can anyone keep up with such a stressful life. It’s only a matter of time until your body gives up.

I don’t want to grow old lying on my deathbed and not remember happy memories of my youth. I don’t want to grow old remembering only spreadsheets and documents, graphs and charts etc.

I will only be young only once, my life energy will fade away regardless if I want it to fade or not. Aside from saving money, I also want to build and save up happy memories.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think that this is a very difficult topic and a very sensitive topic to discuss. Your style of writing, choices of words and your intention to help others, make me feel (as one of your readers) your sincerity to help us reflect on other important things in life, aside from career and money.

I love this comment, because your thoughts are so very different from my own. I can completely understand feeling distracted if you can’t compartmentalize your day, but does routine really keep you present or just a more segmented schedule? When I fall into patterns my brain tends to blindly follow the path forward without a lot of extra thought or attention. Of course, I know this isn’t the case for everyone. After all, Steve Jobs followed many patterns and routines, (like what to eat and wear), to free his mind for more pressing matters.

I don’t miss having to get up early and rush, but I desperately miss the ability to stick to a routine. Life was more rich, then.