Yesterday I read about Neymar asking for 2k crore for a club joining and somewhere deep I felt that I might not need them but if it’s make me happy,isn’t worth it?
I am not good at advising,but if you are like me I can only say that, you are never going to get things after life, buying things when in financial problems seems so bad, but life is not just about getting by, making yourself happy is your responsibility.

Thank you for this comment. It’s grown easier to spend on myself over the years. I recently wrote a post about it. You might enjoy reading it.

What I can advise you is to change your mindset about buying things for yourself. Think that it’s ok to buy things for yourself once in a while, think that you always spend money for other people that it’s time to treat yourself.

Remember, your happiness is as importance as theirs, if you become unhappy, you will grow to hate them because of it.

Thank you. I’ll check it out!

Hi Ranjini, Welcome to my blog. I’m glad you stumbled upon it today. My best advice is not to be too hard on yourself. I think a lot of our money patterns stem from our childhood. Try your best to realize that you are an incredible human being worthy of great things even if you don’t always feel that way. It’s good to save money. This is an old article and I spent many years saving since this time, but I’ve learned to spend a little too. Try to buy something small for yourself: a cup of coffee, a new book, a new inexpensive piece of jewelry. It doesn’t have to be something big, but find a way to savor your purchase. Appreciate the value of having something new in your hand. The longer I save the more I recognize the value of money not for buying things, but for feeling safe and secure. Try to find value in enjoying nature, going for walks and doing things that don’t even cost money. While it’s good to break the spell of holding on to all of your money it’s also good to see that some of the best things in life are free. Sometimes the things we covet aren’t coveted once we buy them. Try to see the good in the world outside of what your money can buy. I promise you it’s more fulfilling than whatever you think you need.

I have been having the same problem. I don’t even know if its a registered psychological problem or not. I had always been proud of my saving skills and frugality. I used to go for shopping with my mother and sister and end up coming home without purchasing a single thing for myself unlike the other two, despite my mother pleading me to buy this and that. Instead I used to haughtily tell them “I can control myself”.
I keep wishlisting things and scrolling through the online stores. My amazon accountt has 13 separate wishlists with hundreds of items each, but I never buy them.

It wouldn’t have been a problem, but lately spending even the slightest bit of money money on even things I really need make me feel uneasy.

I have even started arguing with my parents about the money they spend on useless stuff or make double payments. And that is not even my money.

This constant frame of mind….a feeling that I might not have enough….that I will buy all this when I have a lot of money, but never reaching there….wishing for so much but never fulfilling those is just too stressful.

I will partly blame my parents, they used to taunt me about what a bad investment I have been for them, they paid money for the extra coaching classes so that I could pursue medical, but that never happened, I couldn’t be the doctor they wanted me to be. Somehow, I have started feeling that I’m not worthy of money. Self worth is something which I am not acclimatised to.

I really don’t know how this will end. But it sure is a comfort to know others are going through such issues as well.

Due to personal circumstances I have found myself in a situation where I did not have my own money (unemployment, I had £0.00 to my name) without someone providing me with a little bit of income.

At first I spent their money easily as it felt like “pocket money” but then I tried to save it as it felt wrong to spend it on myself. First of all, the amount was very very difficult to save, evidently it was going to be spent, even if it was just on food therefore this lead to me believing that I did not have the ability to save which caused server anxiety.

Fast-forward and I found employment, however, I have found that I would buy myself stuff but always the “cheaper option” and even though that sounds sensible on the surface I suppose that it made me feel like I looked awful becasue the items looked shabby and cheap which basically took a toll on my self-esteem and confidence.

Now I have a job where I have been able to save a bit *my target us £100 a month”) however, I have sacrificed my own appearance for this (in other words I am damaging my self esteem just to save pieces of paper!!) and now I am tempted to delve into it or spend all of it on my appearance to feel better but I know if I do that I will freak out with the fear that my job could be taken away from me ( = no money) or I will be disappointed in my lack of willpower.

I am trying not to let fear rule my life but I don’t want to live in a manner which causes me to rely on others (lets say if I lost my job and had to rely on others to support me) nor do I want to die due to anxiety of pieces of paper.

I hope this wasn’t too long, but I needed to speak out as I am unsure where to get advice or feedback on this.

Ultimately, I want to enjoy what I earn. I don’t pay bills nor have children so surely I should be able to allow myself to spend it on myself and my relationship?!?

It is very important to allocate a certain fun money / allowance for yourself to spend only one fun things.. if it doesnt get used in that month, add it to next month’s fun allowance.

I remember reading that you don’t get time of your own. maybe you might want to sue some of your fun money for a babysitter for an hour or 2 to watch your child while you get a massage or go shopping or work on a hobby.