@Shesfired, I’m glad they were able to let it go once they knew no one wanted it. Sometimes we can’t let go even though we know it’s unused and unwanted.

@Cindy Brick, The beauty of Swedish death cleaning is that you can take your time and slowly declutter. Then rinse, repeat and continue keeping your house clutter free with the same frame of mind. My dad had an offer on my grandmother’s house so we didn’t have a lot of time to parse through her belongings. I haven’t missed anything we removed, but I do wish we’d taken a slower approach. It’s crazy to think you almost gave away a box of personal information like social security cards! Thank you for sharing your perspective and how it differed from your brother’s. Sibling dynamics definitely play a role in processes like these and it’s often hard to balance the expectations and ideals for all parties.

@Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life, Having partially cleaned out my parents’ house I definitely want to avoid passing on the job to my own kids.

It is very easy, in the rush to finish, to throw away or discard things you should have been keeping. Bring in a professional, if needed, and charge their fee to the estate. (We don’t cost THAT much.) At the very least, you won’t be getting rid of items that will actually increase the value of the estate for the heirs. At the most, you can ease your mind that what you DO discard isn’t worth that much.

We spent months in Michigan, away from our Colorado home, to take care of Mom and help out with her estate after her death. I did separate out items that were more valuable — but my brother was so insistent that he “just wanted to finish” that he refused to let me separate out those items. I ended up leaving them, bagged up, for the estate sale people my brother brought in. Fortunately, they did a fair job…although I later was sent a box of personal things like photos, my mom’s birth certificate, her Social Security cards, etc. that some kind people had purchased during the sale. (Somehow we all missed that box. Husband and I did manage to grab a number of boxes of old documents, photos, deeds, etc.)

Ironically, more than 6 months later, Mom’s estate STILL is not completely settled. I could have sold these items…and I think they would have brought in more money. But Brother is satisfied, and at this point, I really don’t care anymore.

I was able to gather up all of the jewelry, and several items our daughters wanted. (I got some things I remembered fondly, too, as well as needlework items I made for my folks over the years.) We live in a fifth-wheel at present, so were only able to keep a rocking chair I valued. I donated some heavy oak furniture, plus an old sewing machine on a stand, to the local historical society.

So…do I agree with the general goal of Swedish death cleaning? Of course. We went through it to a large degree when we sold our home and moved into this fifth-wheel more than three years ago! But do I think it should be rushed through? Nope – sorry. Better to start early.