Comments on: Unequal Financial Handouts: Would You Turn Down a Gift From Your Parents?

By: Amy B

Amy B — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 04:08:54 +0000

I’m an only child. But I turn down gifts often. I’ve tried for years to get no christmas gifts from parents (atleast we’ve reached a low limit). I’m in a better financial situation than them. I don’t need their money and don’t want it.

By: One Frugal Girl

One Frugal Girl — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 16:23:39 +0000

In reply to Newlyweds on a budget. I tend to agree w/ Newlyweds on a Budget.

By: Newlyweds on a budget

Newlyweds on a budget — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 23:49:32 +0000

In reply to Jen. I don't think there is such a thing as luck. Oprah says luck is preparation meeting opportunity. You can come across a ton of opportunities and not be prepared to take them on.

By: Candice

Candice — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:26:57 +0000

My husband and I had the same argument when my parents offered to loan us money to use as a down payment and/or repairs for a home we were considering. My husband did NOT want to accept the loan at first. He eventually agreed but we did not end up buying the home, so we never borrowed the money. After that sale fell through, we only looked at homes that we could afford on our own without the loan. We eventually bought one without any help. So I definitely get both viewpoints.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 00:03:07 +0000

I don’t think there is anything wrong with the brother accepting the gifts. We don’t really know what the parents’ perspective is. They might might have felt the other brother was lucky in some ways and want to level the playing field. I know some people who are extremely lucky and never acknowledge that their success is part luck

By: Zanne

Zanne — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 22:33:01 +0000

My parents are scrupulous about giving equally to each child. I did agree for my parents to finance my home, but we signed the same legal documents and pay the interest that a bank would require. I do of course know that it would be easier to obtain a forbearance from my parents but we now have 18 payments left on the life of the loan and have not had to ask. The mortgage would be payable to their estate if something had happened to them. My parents are equally scrupulous about not using gifts for strings. Once they give it, you never hear another word. I think if they weren’t like that, I would turn the gift down. So, we’ve been fortunate.

By: eemusings

eemusings — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:23:30 +0000

I moved out at 18 and have always been reluctant to accept handouts from my parents. The one time I did, for half of a new laptop after we were burgled, there was definitely pressure to sway to her preference. They have given me cash for graduation and as a wedding gift.

I would accept help from them in buying a house because property prices here are just insane and any help at all would be jumped on, quite frankly.

I wouldn’t feel right accepting money from HIS side, but that’s a moot point as they have less than no money to give.

By: Sense

Sense — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:19:10 +0000

Funny. There is a similar dynamic in my family, only my sister gets heaps of help from my parents because she is bipolar and just generally doesn’t have her stuff together. I do get mad when they help her out sometimes, but only because I think it enables her to not straighten out her life and also keeps them from retiring, not because I want the same help for myself. I’m proud that I’ve made it on my own since the beginning of college and would have it no other way. I know they’d do anything for me, but at the same time, I know they can’t afford it, so more often than not, I offer help to them. Not too much, because I know it’d go straight to my sister…just here and there, when I notice that something in the house is broken while I’m visiting home, I’ll buy them a new hamper or toaster, etc. because I know they’d never buy it for themselves, and that makes me sad.

By: Newlyweds on a Budget

Newlyweds on a Budget — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:24:38 +0000

I agree that I would never take money from my in-laws. Well, let me rephrase that. I would take money from his dad, because I know he wouldn’t hold it over our heads, but I would never take money from his mother for the exact reasons you mentioned. Unfortunately, they’re a joined pair.
I would have no problem turning down a gift from my parents, if I didn’t want the gift. While I respect my parents immensely, they don’t get to control my adult life.
I think the son is just being selfish.

By: My Shiny Pennies

My Shiny Pennies — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 16:28:49 +0000

I would not turn down a gift from my parents. Family dynamics are complicated and each are different, but I know gifts from my parents is just how they show they care. I would feel guilty if the gift was not bestowed equally upon my 3 siblings, but fortunately my parents are good at not playing favorites.