Deep in My Soul
Deep in my soul I know I’m a writer. I always have been. My mom taught me to read by two and a half and I’ve yearned to read and write ever since. I wrote my first poem at age four and filled the days of my early childhood creating whimsical stories of far away lands. At the urging of my English teachers I tried to get published, but unfortunately failed. A few of my poems made it into the local newspaper, but that’s as far as my words traveled.
Over the years my desire to write comes and goes. Sometimes I’m inspired to write and other times I can go months without jotting down a single word. I started this blog as a way to rekindle my passion for the written word. I needed a topic and personal finance seemed as good as any other. It’s hard to believe this will be my 894th post on One Frugal Girl.
Recently I searched through my shelves and decided to sell a few books that I hadn’t read or didn’t plan on reading. I found a few book buying websites, entered my ISBNs and pulled out boxes for packing. I gently placed the books inside and then decided I wasn’t ready to ship a few of them.
I pulled five from the stack and decided to go on an all out book reading binge. I read five books in seven days, because they had to be postmarked within a week’s time. The books discussed similar themes; the desire to understand yourself, take time for meditation, learn who you really are and follow your callings.
As I flipped through the pages I found new inspiration to put a pencil to paper. I bought a small journal and placed it beside my bed. The cover simply reads: BELIEVE.
I know that I resist writing, because I resist failure, but if I write from the heart and for myself than I should have nothing to fear. In fact, I don’t have to share my words if I don’t care to, but I do need to reconnect with the writer inside me.
After finishing those five books I placed them snugly in a brown cardboard box and shipped them away. As I rearranged the remaining books on my shelf I came across three that I bought a year or so ago but never read. All three books focus on how to write stories. I’m taking their presence as a sign that I should awaken the writer within.
I have to start somewhere and knowing me I have to start somewhere small. I’m not the type of girl that makes big leaps in life; I’ve been married to the same man, living in the same house and working at the same job for years. My first step is to write just a little each day. At this juncture it’s more about journaling than writing, but it’s a start. My next plan is to read the three books about writing that have been sitting idle on my shelf for years.
Once that’s done I’m not sure where things will land. I don’t want to put too much pressure on the goal. I want to take one step at a time and see where things go. I want to help fill in that hole that seems to be missing in my life. I want to fall in love with words again.
*Thanks to Reverb10 for inspiring today’s post with prompt #13: When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
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