This morning my husband called and said, “is it okay if my mom doesn’t throw you a sprinkle?” A sprinkle is apparently a baby shower for a second/third/subsequent child. My mother-in-law offered to host a party for us and asked my husband for a list of details including possible dates and a list of people we’d like to invite.
My husband, (feeling overwhelmed by a million other things going on with his business, job and home renovations), thanked his mother for the offer, but told her it really wasn’t a great time for us to plan a party.
I appreciated the gesture and was surprisingly torn about my husband’s idea to forgo it. First, let me say I didn’t expect anyone to throw a shower for me.
Other than a few miscellaneous items we have everything we need for this child, so I certainly don’t need a big bash and a room full of gifts. My guest list would change a lot from the last shower too. It would only include extremely close friends and family members. Last time a few extended family members and coworkers were invited.
To be honest I was initially against the idea of a second shower. A few moms told me second showers are held when the second child is a different gender than the first. In my case we didn’t know the gender of my first child before he was born and we don’t know the gender of this one either. That means I have a whole lot of yellow and green gear and baby outfits that can be handed down to baby number two. It also means we can’t have a party with “it’s a boy” or “it’s a girl” banners streaming from the windows.
So if I don’t need gifts, don’t like to be the center of attention, don’t know the gender and didn’t plan on anyone offering to host a shower why did I feel so torn about not having one? The answer is surprisingly simple: I remembered how warm and fuzzy I felt during the shower that was held for my son.
In my pregnancy journal I wrote:
This Saturday my friends and family threw a baby shower for me, well actually for you, little one. And while you are still weeks away from your expected arrival the outpouring of love for you was absolutely amazing.
The women in my life come from various backgrounds and they all have different goals in life. Each one is amazing in her own way. I can only hope that when you grow up you are blessed and surrounded by such loving relationships in your own life. Of course, you’ll be loved and adored by your dad and I and all of our families, (that goes without saying), but I hope you come to find love and companionship from the friends that will become your extended family.
On Saturday the room was filled with a group of women who came out to celebrate you. Some women who couldn’t attend sent cards and gifts so they wouldn’t miss out on the festivities and when all was said and done I hand wrote twenty-seven thank you cards that corresponded to so many gifts we had to transport them in two separate cars.
It amazes me to think that you aren’t even here yet and there is already a pocket of love blooming around you!
I suppose I wanted to feel that kind of love for this baby even though he or she isn’t here yet.