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One Frugal Girl

Should I Quit My Job If It Makes Me Unhappy?

Last updated on February 28, 2021 by One Frugal Girl12 Comments

should i quit my job if it makes me unhappy - shoes, briefcase, watch of a former employee

Why do people stay in high paying jobs they hate? For the money, of course. You drive to work each day dreading the next eight hours, yet you climb into your car every day and repeat the same commute.

Your job makes you miserable. As the day-to-day agony continues, you begin to question your future path in life. You suddenly find yourself asking, “Should I quit my job if it makes me unhappy or continue working in a position I hate?”

Perhaps your job is unbelievably stressful. Maybe you spend a ridiculous amount of time at work or need to be on call all hours of the day and night.

Sure, you are rewarded for those headaches with a high salary, but what if you want to change course? Are you tired of all of the extra stress and time spent working? Should you quit your job in search of happiness?

Should I Quit My Job If It Makes Me Unhappy?

Leaving your job isn’t just a pipe dream. It’s something you are seriously considering, something you really want to do. Is it time to make the switch from a stressful job to a less stressful one?

You’ve thought about it for days, weeks, months, or years, but you continue to drive back into the office each and every morning. What is preventing you from walking out the door?

Why are we afraid to quit our jobs? That’s an easy question to answer. We don’t want to give up the money associated with it. Maybe the work is stressful, the job is unfulfilling, or your boss is unpleasant to work for.

We want to leap to a different, lower-paying job, but we don’t want to live on less money. In this case, we allow the financial perks of our current positions to outweigh all other factors.

So, here’s the truth, if you want to quit your job, you may need to accept a lower pay scale. In the back of your mind, you are deeply aware of this fact and perhaps even terrified by it. You want to quit your job but you’re scared.

Perhaps you sit at your desk, pondering the question: “Should I quit my job if I am unhappy?” How high does happiness rank on your list of concerns? Certainly not as high as paying your current mortgage and bills. So what if you are unhappy at work? You need the money, right?

You try to account for the happiness factor, but you don’t take the time to reflect upon your options. Instead, you think, “Sure, I’m unhappy at work, but I can’t quit. I don’t know if I can live off of less money.”

Well, guess what. Now is the time to find out.

How Can You Prepare To Quit Your Miserable Job?

How can you prepare to quit your high paying job? The first thing you need is a plan. To begin, you’ll need to come to terms with your future wages. Your goal is to figure out if you can live off of less money before you quit. This will most likely include two significant lifestyle changes.

First, you’ll need to change your mindset about money. Then you’ll need to change your spending habits.

Changing Your Money Mindset

When you earn a lot of money, you tend to spend a lot of money too. Right now, you might live in an expensive house or drive an ultra-fancy, overpriced car.

So here comes the hard part. Stop for a moment. Look around at your possessions and ask yourself, are those objects worth your time, stress, and overall happiness?

Walk around your house, sit in your car, and look at the things you’ve purchased with your money. Open the drawers to your dresser, closet, and cabinets. Touch those possessions. Pick them up and feel the weight of them.

Now ask yourself, “Do these things make me happy?” More importantly, are these treasures worth the extra stress you feel day-in and day-out?

Is it possible to feel happier by getting rid of these financial burdens? By choosing your overall life satisfaction in place of this stuff?

Change Your Spending Habits

If you need those things to make you happy, then you know you can’t quit your high paying job. On the other hand, if you don’t feel compelled to keep them in your life, you can move on to step two: changing your spending habits.

If you are serious about quitting your job, now is the time to research potential salary ranges for your new position. Now comes the hard part. Start living with that new salary.

This may include enormous sacrifices. Can you continue to live in your current house, or do you need to downsize to a smaller one? Do you need to pay off your car or sell it and buy a cheaper one?

Review your monthly expenses. What do you spend money on that you don’t need? What can you cut from your life? Take a red pen to every one of your monthly bills. Cut cable, unsubscribe to services, and look for ways to lower expenses across the board.

Remember that changing your habits isn’t about deprivation. Don’t look at this as cutting out everything that you love in life. Simply review your expenses and think about the exchange of time for money.

Do you love these things enough to continue to go to a job you hate or to work in an industry that leaves you feeling unfulfilled?

A lot of people are scared of turning off the money spigot. Do not be afraid. You still have your job right now. You are merely reviewing your spending patterns and focusing on what matters.

If you can’t live without these things, then you can happily return to your job. There is nothing wrong with willingly exchanging your time for a higher salary. Don’t feel guilty about that choice. Recognize it and accept it.

Imitate Your Future Life

If you don’t need that stuff, then it’s time to move forward with the next step. It’s time to imitate your future life. Practice living on a smaller salary long before you quit your job. Create budgets that reflect your future take-home pay. Confine yourself to lower spending limits even though you can currently buy two to three times that much.

Start by making small changes first. Pack your lunch a few days a week or go out to eat at less expensive restaurants. Create a shopping ban to stop buying stuff you don’t need.

Then move on to the big stuff. Downsize your house and car, pay off all of your debts, and live off of less so you can bank the difference. Try to create a buffer of money before you quit. You can quit your job without any savings, but if you earn big bucks right now, try your best to save it.

Practice living this life and ask yourself if you enjoy it. Again, don’t feel guilty if you don’t. Simply return to your job with a newfound appreciation for all of the things your high income enables you to buy.

Instead of thinking, “I’m unhappy at work, but I can’t quit,” think “I’m unhappy at work, but there are huge perks to my current pay” or “I hate my job, but it pays well.”

Then figure out ways to make your work environment and your job more enjoyable. Also, focus on changing your mindset to feel grateful for the money you receive. Remember, there are a lot of miserable people at work, making much less money than you are.

Letting Go Of Your Ego

Keep in mind that financial considerations are just one facet of a high paying job. Many of us wrap our egos up in our work. It’s incredibly rewarding to receive big promotions, and setting goals and climbing the corporate ladder can dramatically boost our self-esteem.

There is prestige in working in a professional, high paying job. We are doctors, lawyers, and software engineers. Over time those titles become our identities.

Sometimes we feel trapped by our professions. We ask ourselves, “If I walk away from my high-paying job, will people think less of me? Will I be less respected by my peers?”

It’s incredibly challenging to let go of this vision of ourselves. I left my position as a software engineer eight years ago, and I still mention my former job in conversation. It became a permanent piece of who I am—a way to value my self-worth above all other things that matter.

You may struggle to figure out who you are without your title. But remember, just because this job worked well for you in the past does not mean you need to continue on that course right now.

If you want to leave, you must ask yourself, “Is my ego more important than my happiness?” Am I justified in maintaining a job I don’t love for the ego boost I feel when I tell people what I do?

What is essential in our lives? Is it feeling proud of our professions or feeling rewarded by them? Are we trapped by a society that places too much emphasis on asking, “what do you do?”

Is the quest for a more meaningful, less stressful life less important than your title? Think carefully about this question as you ponder whether to stay in your position or leave your current job for one with less pay.

Unhappy at Work Should I Quit?

my job makes me unhappy

You feel unhappy at work, so should you quit? There are many reasons to quit your job. Do you suffer from a long commute, too many hours in the office, inflexible schedules, a lack of time off, anxiety, an unpleasant boss or are you merely unhappy at work?

How many hours do you spend on your employment? I don’t mean hours in the office, sitting at your desk and staring at your computer. I’m talking about the amount of time you spend preparing at home, making your lunch, commuting to work, the amount of time you have for lunch breaks, driving back home, etc.

My Job Makes Me Miserable

Most of us spend at least forty hours at work, not including the amount of time it takes us to commute to and from our jobs. Does it make sense to spend so much of our lives working in a place that makes us miserable?

Sometimes it makes sense to take a lower-paying job or switch jobs to achieve less stress and misery. Can you make your current job less miserable? Is there a different line of work or position that might make you happier?

My Job is Making Me Miserable. Should I Quit?

Perhaps, but we don’t all need to quit to find happiness. Sometimes we need to find a different position, a new boss, or a new company.

Before you jump ship or walk out the door, ask yourself what you dislike about your job. Maybe you don’t mind your current career. Perhaps you are burned out by long commutes or annoying coworkers. Is it possible to work remotely a few days a week or arrange a compressed schedule that involves less commuting?

Can you come to the office during core hours? This would allow you to miss morning and evening commutes, but work from home for an hour or two after you get home each day.

Set boundaries for how many hours you work a day and make sure to take breaks throughout the day to calm your nerves and ease your peace of mind. Carve out time around your job for the people and passions that matter.

A perfect job may not exist, and quitting your current job won’t ensure you love your next one. Sometimes quitting a higher paying job for happiness doesn’t make you any happier at all.

It might cause more stress as you struggle to pay your bills and question your decisions. A high income makes life a whole lot easier than a low one. Sometimes it’s worth pushing through the not-so-great aspects of life to make other aspects, like paying your child’s orthodontist bills and mortgage easier.

What Do You Want Out of Life

So what can you do if you are unhappy at work but need the money? Most of us will agree that money isn’t all that great if it makes us utterly miserable. Some of us are willing to downsize our lives and earn less money in exchange for a better work-life balance.

If you want to read more about this idea, check out this post: Live Simply, Quit Your Job and Follow Your Dreams. It provides details on learning to live on less.

A few years ago, I met a woman who left her law practice to become a waitress in a local taco bar. She told me she was tired of wearing a suit, standing in front of a judge, and listening to people fight and argue with one another.

The waitressing job wasn’t meant to be permanent. It was merely a place to land while she figured out what to do next. She enjoyed chatting with customers and telling tourists about all of the best places to visit in town. Best of all, she said, “When I leave my job, I’m finished for the day. I don’t take any work home with me. At my old job, I thought about my clients and their cases constantly. Now I go home and wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow. I no longer spend my nights clenching my teeth in my sleep.”

“I can live a simple life,” she told me. “We don’t need nearly as much stuff as we think we do. What we need is to feel happy, and I feel strangely happy waiting on people right now.”

Priorities Outside of Work

When we think about work, we often think about the eight hours we sit in the office. Few of us think about the impacts on the rest of our lives. How does your job impact your mental state, your partner, and your family?

Does your current line of work allow you to focus on your relationships? How often do you find the time to visit with friends and family?

Do you come home completely exhausted from a long day in the office? Do you crash onto the couch? Feel easily agitated or lash out at your family?

Would a new line of work improve your health? I’m talking about both your mental and physical state. Do you move around much during your workday? Would you prefer a job that allows you to step outdoors or move around more often?

Does your job allow you to pursue your passions during work or outside of working hours? Many of us spend so much time at work that we cram the enjoyable parts into nights and weekends. Are you able to do anything fun Monday through Friday? Would quitting your job allow you to feel more engaged in the day to day activities of your life?

I left my job when my first child was born. A lot of people leave high paying jobs when their priorities change. We tend to jump ship after we have children, become ill, or tend to sick parents.

Life-changing events force us to reflect on the aspects of our lives that matter most, but why do we wait for life-altering situations. What matters most to you right now?

Your list may include titles and high salaries, but most likely it won’t. It will consist of the people you wish to spend time with and the passions that your heart yearns to pursue.

Living a Life That Matters

live your dream

In my old job, I felt like an incredibly valuable member of my team. I worked harder and longer than any of my counterparts. I put my heart and soul into my work and my code.

After I left, others stepped in and took on the tasks I used to complete. The work moved more slowly, but it moved forward all the same.

Deep inside, we all want to live a life that matters. Did any of the code I write make a difference in the world? No, not really.

It’s tough to quit a high paying job in pursuit of a lower-paying position. It often takes a long time to pursue a successful career. It’s also tough to walk away from all of that money once you start receiving it.

It might feel like leaving your corporate career is a terrible decision. Should you walk away from guaranteed six-figure salaries and large yearly bonuses?

It’s scary as hell, isn’t it? I know. I did it. Then I questioned my decision to quit my six-figure job for years.

As I reflect on that decision, I have come to one conclusion. As far as I know, we only get one chance to live this life. I could continue to wake up each day and sit in a cubicle, or I could search for a more meaningful path in life.

The scariest thought isn’t missing out on the toys and treasures of a high paying job. It is the fear of postponing a meaningful life for a future that isn’t guaranteed.

Will, you quit your job if it makes you unhappy? Have you already quit one in search of something better?

Related Articles:

  • Live Simply, Quit Your Job and Follow Your Dreams
  • Quitting My Six-Figure Job: Walking Away From a High Paying Career

Filed Under: Happiness, Minimalism, Money Mentality

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Comments

  1. Daniel Beach says

    December 27, 2019 at 9:49 AM

    Great post! Two of the best decisions I ever made was leaving a corporate job for a smaller company with better culture.
    Second was leaving another company after only 8 months because I worked all the time and
    never got a break. Now I have a job I love where I get beer, pingpong and unlimited PTO!
    Never settle!

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      December 28, 2019 at 12:42 AM

      Thank you for the comment. I’m so glad that you didn’t settle and found a job you really enjoy with great perks!

      Reply
  2. She's FIRE'd says

    December 28, 2019 at 9:28 AM

    Ugh, this is so timely for me. Yesterday I achieved my last goal for the year. I actually had an awesome year at work. And my retirement countrdown calendar has 60 days left on it. I am alternately excited and terrified. The few people I’ve told think I’m absolutely crazy for doing this. But I am, because I have enough money and my job takes up time for things I want to do. Honestly, between kids and work, there isn’t any time left for what I want to do. But I’m consumed by worry. What if I hate being retired? What if I’m bored? Logically I know this is silly, but this decision is irrevocable.

    I think all major life changes are scary. But the thing about life is that the fruit grows at the end of the branches. Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to get what you want. Courage…

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      December 29, 2019 at 2:25 PM

      Is the decision really irrevocable? I’m sure you could return to work in some capacity if you really dislike retirement, right? I hate to make decisions, because I often correlate them to walking the plank off of an old pirate ship. Once I make them I can never change my mind, change course or look back. I don’t think this is true for most of our decisions in life. Having children is one exception to the rule, but there are so many others where we can change our minds and sometimes in knowing that we can change course the decisions don’t seem so scary. We do need the courage to make big moves, (and I absolutely love your quote), but realize that few things are set in stone for life. I think you will love being retired, but if you don’t you will change your life in ways that are rewarding and fulfilling. If you have the means to quit and have worked your way to this point imagine all of the things you are capable of moving forward! I can’t wait to find out more about your journey as you take the leap!

      Reply
  3. She's FIRE'd says

    December 29, 2019 at 7:21 PM

    I could return to work doing something, but I’m out of my industry forever. I’m taking a retirement package (worth a fair amount of money and some benefits) that requires me to “leave nicely”-I have to hire and train my successors and introduce my clients to them. My worth (to my company and others like it) is my client relationships- after clients adjust to my replacements, I’m not worth much in terms of salary. In addition, I have an ironclad non-compete agreement, and my employment licenses expire after not working in the industry for a few months.

    I have a lovely resume, and someone would certainly hire me to do something, but probably at less than half of what I’m making now. Part of it is security- making 6 figures solves a lot of problems. And I must admit that the ego thing is a little hard to let go of.

    Its scary to let go, but the truth is, I did my job for 20+ years, and I just don’t want to do it anymore. The stress- ugh! I don’t really know if I just need a couple of years off and want to work again, or if I’ll be blissfully happy being retired. I guess I’m about to find out…

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      December 30, 2019 at 12:05 PM

      To be honest I never thought about a job that relies on client relationships. It makes perfect sense, it’s just not something I ever encountered. The license expirations will certainly add complexity too. In your case it will definitely be more difficult to return to that line of work and the salary you have grown accustomed to earning, but as you’ve said you’ve put in your 20 years so I think now is a great time to make the leap into early retirement and see what the future has in store for you.

      Reply
  4. Mr. Fat says

    January 2, 2020 at 7:32 PM

    I’ve really struggled with this, it’s basically the entire reason my wife and I decided to pursue FIRE. I’ve found looking for any meaning in your work goes a long way. That being said, we still want to retire early 🙂

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      January 3, 2020 at 10:03 AM

      It definitely helps to look for meaning and purpose in the work you do. Also, to try your best to see the good that it provides. It pays the bills, provides insurance, etc. Having said all of that it’s best to plan for an early retirement if we can. If we end up wanting to work we can, but if we hate our jobs we can walk right out the door. Thanks for your comment!

      Reply
  5. SS says

    August 1, 2020 at 6:05 AM

    I am pursuing early retirement after 25 yrs of service. I took this decision since the work culture has become horrible. No respect for seniors…scolding n howling by bosses on petty issues…too much workload… not filling vacants posts….over burdening employees with work of higher post n low pay…constantly blaming and asking explanations for small mistakes. Long boring meetings where there is no real interaction only orders and scoldings are given by bosses to 50+ employees infront of all. I realised enough is enough. Now planning properly for retirement thru professional financial planner

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      August 4, 2020 at 2:18 PM

      I’m so glad you have the ability to step away. I think so many of us end up in jobs we don’t enjoy. I always advise trying to fix the situation first, but if you can’t then its great to be able to walk right out the door. Congratulations!

      Reply
  6. Girl from PH says

    January 23, 2021 at 12:20 PM

    I am in the same predicament right now… while contemplating, it led me to your blog… I am also a software engineer with a guaranteed six-figure salary and yearly bonuses; but I am beginning to question if it is worth it with what I am giving up: my health, time with family, etc… I know I want to quit, to spend more time with my loved ones and pursue my other passions… I have been thinking about it for years… I just need the courage to finally jump.

    Reply
    • One Frugal Girl says

      January 24, 2021 at 4:54 PM

      Hi Girl from PH,

      Can you find a part time position that might help with your transition or reduce the hours at your current job or do you think you have to quit to achieve all that you want? Do you already have savings? Also, can you keep in contact with your current boss, coworkers, etc, in case you want to go back after you make the leap? Knowing the answers to those questions might make it easier to finalize your decision.

      Reply

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Hi, I'm Jewels. I am a forty-year-old wife, mother, blogger, personal finance enthusiast, optimist, former software developer and achiever of financial independence. This blog is my story. Welcome to my little corner of the Internet.

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