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The Differences Between One Baby and Two

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I cannot believe my little baby is just shy of five months. Time seems to move so much faster this time around. The adjustment from one to two took a little longer than I expected, but as the nap schedule begins to normalize things are definitely getting easier.

So far adding another baby has made very little impact to our finances. Other than the initial medical costs for labor and delivery I haven’t paid for anything big. In fact, other than diapers, wipes and a new dresser for the nursery I haven’t spent much on this new little guy.

I kept all of my older son’s original baby equipment, which means this guy is playing on hand-me-down activity centers, jumperoos and bouncy seats. I did splurge on a rock-and-play sleeper I found in the clearance section of Target for $30. I sold my old one for $20 a few months before I found out I was pregnant. It was actually a good deal because the new one was softer and vibrated.

The little guy’s initial wardrobe was provided by generous relatives and friends. Of course he outgrew those tiny outfits in a matter of months, but so far we haven’t needed to buy any new ones. Although the boys were born in opposite seasons there always seem to be a small pile of my older son’s clothes that are appropriate for the weather. At this point he is wearing nothing but onesies and button down sleepers.

When my first child was born I took pictures at least two or three times a week and I dressed him in a different outfit for just about every photo set. This time around I simply don’t want to spend money on clothes the baby will outgrow. Babies are awfully cute in their birthday suits so why bother covering them up?

My approach to money changed slightly for this little guy, but my approach to sleep is as different as night and day. For one, I decided to give up on the crib and co-sleeper at night. With only one baby in the house I could rest from time to time. I rarely did, but I had the option when the first one napped. With two in the house I am constantly busy and feel ridiculously tired. My oldest just happened to give up his nap after the baby was born, which means someone is always awake and in need of attention.

In order to rest as much as possible I made the decision to co-sleep. I am awake just long enough to roll over and nurse him. Then I typically fall right back to sleep.

The other big sleep related difference involved letting the baby stir a bit before consoling him. I never let my oldest fuss or cry. Until he reached the nine month mark I jumped at the tiniest whimper. This time around I let the baby fuss just a little, (no more than three minutes), before consoling him.

As a result I think he’s a much better sleeper. I can place him in the crib completely awake after nothing but a song and a pat on the back and he’ll fall asleep within a minute or two without me.

My oldest often nursed to sleep, but this guy never does. I must admit that I miss that sleepy cuddle. This baby typically eats when he wakes from a nap and is quite active and awake during feeding. He looks up at me with great big blue eyes and squeezes my hand, which is a completely different feeling.

The hardest part of having two children is the simple realization that I cannot recreate the same scenario with which my first was raised. This little guy has to share time with his older brother. He has to wait a lot more than the first and rarely gets 100% of my attention.

It’s also interesting to watch the interaction between number one and number two. While my oldest was only influenced by my husband and I, this little guy gets to watch and listen to his older brother. There is a whole lot more activity in the house this time around and the little one loves to watch his big brother!

In terms of personality the two seem very similar. They were both quiet babies who seem interested in observing the world around them. Neither creates much of a fuss and both seem content the majority of the time.

Number two appears to be a much happier baby though. My oldest is quite serious and I struggled to elicit a giggle for months. I feel like this guy came out of the womb laughing and smiling.

So far number one doesn’t care about number two. He is rather indifferent to his entrance into our family. He’s shown very little jealousy although I do see a bit when other people light up to see his brother and goo-goo over him. He’s been the center of attention for three years and I can tell the shift in position bothers him, which is perfectly natural.

I read a lot of parenting books and sibling focused topics are next on my agenda. Let’s hope they enjoy each others company somewhere along the way.

One Frugal Girl

Tuesday 11th of August 2015

It's definitely different. Not good or bad just different. The luxury of time, (I know you are thinking what luxury), doesn't exist with the second. The first always seems to need me too.

Revanche

Friday 7th of August 2015

I love that reminder. I intellectually know that every baby is different but there's a part of me that feels the passing of each day keenly as I know LB will only be this small once. The maybe natural reaction, though we mostly know that we don't necessarily want a second, is to want to recapture those moments with a second. I'm reminded that it's not the "solution" (nor is it truly a problem).