Shortly after my husband and I were married he began taking over our day to day finances. We treat our marriage as a partnership and make joint decisions on almost every financial issue.
Whether it’s household expenditures or financial investments we discuss all options and alternatives together. More often than not we bring perspectives to the table that the other spouse had never considered, and so far I believe this has helped us save and invest money wisely.
A few years back I was worried that we were spending money frivolously. After a long debate over how much money we were spending on food, my husband decided to start journaling all of our expenses.
Every month when the credit card bill arrives, he journals each and every expense and classifies the category of each purchase. Amazingly we now know where each and every penny is spent. For the record, he was right, we weren’t spending much on food at all.
From time to time I have journaled expenses, but it boils down to a handful of times, primarily when he was away on business.
Prior to my husband’s journaling I was a ‘continual returner.’ I would purchase an item, come home, decide I didn’t like it after all, and return it to the store. In fact, my husband used to joke that I always had at least two or three items in the trunk, sitting in bags, with tags, waiting to be returned.
This behavior, which is really a terrible one, stopped cold turkey, when my husband informed me that I was making it difficult for him to journal the expenses. It seems all of the charges and refunds were driving him crazy.
Secret PayPal Account
So this brings me to my secret PayPal account. First, let me tell you that my husband despises PayPal, for a number of reasons too long to detail in this post. Second let me tell you that he despises eBay, again for a number of reasons too long to post.
A few months back I began cleaning the house and listing items for sale out on eBay. As you probably know, the easiest way to buy and sell on eBay is with a PayPal account.
Knowing that my husband hates these two entities and that journaling these small transactions would be a large pain I simply decided not to tell him about them. Oh I told him that I was selling some of our stuff on eBay, but he never asked for specifics, so I simply didn’t tell him.
Hiding Money in PayPal
Until tonight, when he asked if I had money in my PayPal account. I told him the truth about how much money I had in the account and that it came from my eBay sales.
The truth is I was hiding money in PayPal. It’s incredibly easy to hide money there. Paper bank statements never arrived in the mail. I didn’t need to go to a bank or credit union for any transactions. Money could easily move in and out of my account without anyone else noticing.
Thankfully my husband and I trust one another, so he wasn’t worried about these tiny transactions.
Funny enough, he was actually happy that I hadn’t bothered him with the details. He didn’t want to be bothered with journaling these piddly transactions, but in a different relationship this secrecy could have caused an end to our trust and our relationship.
Financial dishonesty is a sure fire way to end a marriage.