Would you be offended if you were invited to a wedding and the bride and groom asked for donations for their honeymoon? A friend of mine who is getting married is dead set against the typical registry. The bride-to-be already lives with her future husband and says there is simply no need for more glasses, plates or silverware in their home, so she doesn’t want to register at any major department stores or home good stores like Crate and Barrel.
Instead she would like to ask people to donate to her honeymoon. In essence, she wants guests to provide her with cash gifts or to contribute to a registry that will help pay for food and hotels for her honeymoon.
When my husband and I got married there seemed to be a cultural divide among our guests, because half of the family gave us cash and the other half selected gifts from our registry. The line was literally divided down the middle.
I registered for gifts prior to our wedding, but truth be told we didn’t really need any more plates or cups or bowls either. However, I knew that some members of the family would want to purchase gifts, some wouldn’t feel comfortable giving money and others would prefer that the bride and groom don’t know exactly how much they spent on a gift.
I’ve been to quite a few weddings recently where the bride doesn’t register. I brought cash to some of those weddings and gifts to others. It all depends on how well I know the bride and groom and whether or not I spot something I think they will love.
I’m not sure what advice I would offer to someone getting married these days. I wonder, if you don’t register do people bring you gifts you don’t want, do they bring cash, or do they simply skip out on a gift all together.
Is the act of not registering equal to asking your guests for cash and if so how does that work out for the bride and groom? Do they receive want they really want and more importantly are the guests happy to provide it or offended?