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A Second Baby? How Do You Know When You Are Ready?

Our little guy is nearly 13 months old. At 9 months I was ready to start planning for a second child, but now that he’s a little over a year I’m more hesitant. Things have been really great for the past few months. Our son is sleeping through the night, eating everything in sight, walking (nearly running), babbling, turning pages, clapping, dancing and doing everything that a one year old should do. Things are so good in fact that I hate the idea of returning to a world of sleepless nights.

Part of me worries that a second child will take my attention away from my first. I worry that I won’t find enough time in my day to give my son all of the attention he deserves. I worry that a crying baby will sour his unbelievably sweet mood. I worry that he’ll hate having a sibling. I know quite a few children who dislike their little sisters. I’m also worried that the next child will be a holy terror, because other than sleepless nights our son has been an absolute breeze.

Since I’m 35 time is not exactly on my side. If I want to have another child I really need to start planning for it now. It took us about a year to conceive my son. The first six months we took a laid back approach. We didn’t plan, didn’t look at a calendar, didn’t worry about conceiving and didn’t think too much about it. The second six months I could think of nothing other than making a baby. I charted, took my temperature and followed every piece of advice that I could get my hands on. This time I hope to find a more relaxed middle ground!

This time around I know that my body is capable of conceiving. I had so many health issues in the past that I really thought my body was not good for much of anything. Since carrying my son and giving birth to him I have a whole new belief and faith in it.

So how do you know that you are ready for a second child? I have friends who space there children out evenly, (every two to three years), and others that simply don’t use birth control and let nature take its course. As for me, I’m just not sure. I think I might be ready to plan for another baby, but I also know things seem really great right now.

Kay

Monday 19th of November 2012

We waited too long to think about second child and my first child is 6 yrs old and finally we are ready to give it a try. .

At teh early stages, most people think we are not ready...and later, its too late.

Go for it!! Now is the best time.

Tamara

Tuesday 13th of November 2012

My kids are 2 1/2 years apart. It is a nice spacing. Of course there are pros and cons to all spacing. I might would suggest not overthinking it. If you are feeling ready, go for it. Things will definitely change for your son - some for the worse and some for the better but no reason to think that the worst case will come to be. My second was an amazing sleeper, way better than my first.

You are a bit at a sweet spot right now. I loved the 12-24 month phase. Enjoy it and remember that it will be at least 9 months, probably longer before your new one arrives.

One Frugal Girl

Thursday 15th of November 2012

Thanks Tamara. 12 months has definitely been a sweet phase. In fact, from 9 months on it's been amazing. I do worry that I'm overthinking it and that if it's it meant to be, it will be, whenever it will be. Thanks for commenting!