When you think about life after financial independence what do you think about? Most of us envision an adventurous future full of possibilities.
There are so many exciting reasons to save money and stick with an early retirement plan, but joyful reasons aren’t at the top of everyone’s list.
Among the crowds cheering for early retirement is a quiet subset trying to save for other reasons. Including those preparing for a life of chronic illness: an attempt to save all the money they can before their bodies fail.
Many of us get to choose our early retirement dates, but for those with chronic illness the date is not so easy to control. Sometimes we are forced to walk away from work before we are financially ready to go.
At FinCon 2019 I made a promise to myself. I decided to write blog posts only if I felt inspired to do so. If I’m not feeling particularly enthusiastic about an idea I simply don’t type one up. If I feel motivated but the words come out flat I toss the post into the garbage pile and move on with my life.
The last time I wrote a post was January 3rd. Unfortunately, this time it wasn’t motivation that kept me at bay. It was my health.
I’ve had so many things I wanted to say, but not an ounce of energy to type them up. I didn’t intend to wait so long before writing again, but unfortunately my pain has kept me idle these past few weeks.
Over the years I’ve managed to control my aches relatively well. When my body hurts I run through a bulleted list of techniques that previously helped. If they don’t work I go back to the top of the list and try all over again.
This is life with chronic pain.
My youngest son will start kindergarten next year. I’ve thought about this pivotal juncture many times over the past few years.
What will I do with the time while he is in school? Should I volunteer? Get a job? Write stories? Work on this blog?
Having reached financial independence I don’t need to find paid employment, but I wouldn’t mind solving problems and making an impact on the world around me. In my spare time I enthusiastically search job boards and volunteer opportunities.
Then I have a month like this past one filled with aches, pains and a large bottle of Tylenol. Suddenly my dreams dissolve before my very eyes. I’m abruptly reminded that I don’t have the luxury to do whatever I want, because sometimes my body won’t let me.
I am lucky in so many ways. My parents paid for my undergraduate education. I earned a six figure salary as a software engineer and I married a highly motivated and talented partner who is sensible with money. We are born savers who earned high salaries while living well below our means.
For all of those reasons, and so many more, I don’t need to work. I may wish to find fulfilling ways to spend my day, but I am lucky that I no longer need to put extra stress on my body to earn a paycheck.
Earning When I Could
Some people will say I wasted my youth and good health on a 9-to-5 job, but my medical saga began just six years after I graduated from college.
I needed a steady job that would permit me to work from home, provide incredible health insurance and long term disability if my body began to fail me.
My job granted all of those things and more. I am fortunate for all that my employer gave me. Many employees are not so lucky.
A Pity Party
This post is not meant to be a pity party although it sure sounds like one. It is a reminder to myself. Wallowing in my sorrows will not change my situation or dramatically improve my health.
Despite my medical issues, or perhaps because of them, I made the choice to become a stay-at-home parent after my first child was born. I willingly walked away from my high paying job to spend time with my son.
As I reflect back on that decision I wonder if I really had a choice to continue working as a software engineer. In retrospect I’m not so sure my body would have allowed me to work a 9-to-5 job and raise a child. I didn’t think about this when I left my high paying career, but now I wonder if the pain would have overtaken my life much sooner.
There were many times when a headache derailed my evening plans. When I would immediately climb under the covers after a long commute and not wake up until the next morning. That’s not so easy to do when kids need to do their homework, eat dinner and get ready for bed.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I could have continued to function. Would my health have failed me long before now?
The Dream of Financial Independence
Reaching financial independence and retiring early should be a cause for celebration, but we aren’t all marching to the finish line for the same joyful reasons.
Chronic illness is rarely talked about in the FI space, but the goal is so important to those who know their bodies won’t support them forever.
The twenty-two year old version of me had absolutely no idea that I would face a life of chronic pain. I started saving for endless possibilities, but in my naive mind I never could have imagined this.
I might not be able to go into an office each day and endure a long commute, but I am grateful to be able to work from home in other capacities if I choose to do so. Compared to others with chronic illnesses mine is mild.
I am also grateful for the wake up call my medical mysteries created. Without them I would have continued pushing through a job that didn’t make me happy. I would have reached for bigger promotions and raises instead of taking care of myself or my family.
I may not be able to do everything I want, but thanks to financial independence I don’t have to push my body through the pain of going to work. When I walked away from my 9-to-5 I was financially ready.
Reaching financial independence is incredibly difficult. Chronic illness adds an invisible, extra heavy burden.
We all want to think of early retirement as a joyous occasion, but for some financial independence seekers nothing could be further from the truth. We are racing to the finish line before the clock runs out on good health.