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Is it Okay to Buy Gifts that aren’t on the Gift Registry?

Oh summertime, the time for bridal showers, engagement parties, weddings and even a few babies. Over the years I’ve attend a whole slew of weddings and showers where gift registries have run the gamut from ridiculously expensive to justifiably cheap.

One bride I know registered at both Bloomingdale’s and Target. She decided wealthier guests could purchase from the upscale registry, while less well-off friends and family could shop at Target. Interestingly enough, most of the bride’s wealthier guests presented monetary gifts. In the end the Target registry was half fulfilled while the Bloomingdale’s registry was barely touched.

Some people think you should always purchase off the registry, some think it’s okay to venture elsewhere, and others never pick something off the list. Some folks, like my grandmother, absolutely hate to purchase from a registry, because “it takes the fun out of shopping for someone you love.” Others simply don’t want the bride and groom or parents-to-be to know how much they paid for a gift.

I have a love-hate relationship with registries. On one hand I think registries are a great way to tell family and friends just what you want. On the other hand I think the major chain stores that offer registries often overcharge for merchandise.

An expecting friend recently registered for a whole host of baby furniture from a chain store. A simple google search revealed much cheaper prices at both brick-and-mortar and online shops. Within minutes I found cheaper prices for nine out of the first ten items on her list. In some cases I found the exact same item for less than 50% of the registry price.

My friend knows I’m a frugal fanatic so I sent her links to cribs, bassinets, high chairs and baby furniture.

She was so excited to find cheaper alternatives that she removed the items from her original registry and created a whole new list.
So what do you think? Do you pay full price for an item on the registry or do you go off list and buy twice as much stuff for the very same price?

Do you ever buy something that isn’t on the list and if so do you have rules for those purchases? In essence, do you think it’s ever okay to buy gifts that aren’t on the list?

One Frugal Girl

Tuesday 11th of May 2010

I love the notion that many of you voiced... a gift, is a gift no matter what and that no gifts should be expected.


Friday 7th of May 2010

Gifts are meant to be given from the heart, not from a list of pre-planned, overpriced, no-thought-required, made in china crap. Just my humble opinion, ha ha.

Seriously - a cousin by marriage was having a girl (pre-named Mya, isn't that sweet?) and the shower invites read "Mya has already received plenty of handmade blankets, etc. Mya's Mommy is registered for items she needs at Macy's..."

What a crock - many of our older relatives celebrate a new baby by creating a handmade blanket, dress, or other creative item.

Shame on Mya's no-couth Mommy for discouraging those relatives from creating their gift, rather than purchasing it.

Of course, I got Mya a beautiful crocheted blanket as a gift. LOLDon't tell ME what to buy as a gift...

Frugal Babe

Tuesday 4th of May 2010

I have a hate-hate relationship with gift registries. But with that said, I do purchase things off the registries if I don't know the recipient that well. If it's someone I know well, I usually give a handmade gift (either made by me, or from Etsy). I have never registered for anything in my life, and refused to allow anyone to host a bridal shower or baby shower for me. When I graduated from high school and college, I didn't send announcements, because let's face it - those are pretty much just requests for gifts, especially for people you know won't be able to attend. I can't stand the idea that gifts are something to expect. I believe that having a baby or getting married or graduating is a gift in and of itself, and to expect people to give you things just because of these occasions is crazy. BUT, I love to give gifts, and I always do so when one of my friends gets married, has a baby, or a birthday, etc. I just think it's important to keep in mind that gifts are ALWAYS a privilege and not a right.Ok, stepping down off of my soapbox :)


Tuesday 4th of May 2010

I'm conflicted on this, so I think it depends. If you know a person and their taste VERY well, then it's okay to purchase items that aren't on the registry. If you don't, then please, please stick with the registry! When my husband and I got married, we got lots of gifts that weren't on our registry. Some were wonderful (from people who knew us well) and others were just...well...ugly. :-)


Monday 3rd of May 2010

I'm puting together a baby registry and it's very hard. We got a bunch of clothes, diapers (cloth) and furniture from people we know so we really don't need anything except a few big ticket items (carseat, pump, carrier). I've been telling people who ask to just get something cute but I think I might start telling them to get us picture books.

I think it's ok to get things not on a list but you have to look at the list first and see if it's something they would want. If they didn't register for a coffee maker, don't get them one but if they did, getting them a nicer one might be ok.