Pressured to Spend

Do you have friends that spend much more than you do? Do they ask you to go out to fancy restaurants or travel to exotic locations? If so, do you find yourself caving in to their requests or do you find the gumption to say “thanks but no thanks.”

Because I blog about personal finance I think carefully about the way I spend money and try my best to avoid situations where others can influence my spending. But what about those situations you just can’t seem to control. What happens when you find yourself out celebrating a friend’s birthday party and suddenly get saddled with a very large bill?

I’m sure just about every woman out there has been faced with the mounting expenses of a bridal or baby shower that became more extravagant than you originally proposed. Other friends decide the guest list should be larger, the location more elegant, the food more refined. As one of the bridesmaids or best friends you are suddenly looking over a laundry list of items you’d rather not purchase.

What do you do when the bride wants you to purchase a dress outside of your budget, or spend money on a trip to the spa for facials and manicures you really can’t afford? How do you participate in the festivities without compromising your own financial goals?

I really don’t know the answer to this question though it has certainly plagued me from time to time. As a good friend you don’t want to make a big deal in front of the birthday girl, bride or mother-to-be. You want them to feel loved and supported and treated in the way they deserve, but at the same there is only so much money to spread around.

How do you let your friends know how much you love and appreciate them without feeling like you have to throw in the towel on all of your own budgetary concerns?

Have you ever fought the gang mentality and told others you simply cannot afford to spend money the way they can? Have you been able to stick to the rules you set for yourself and if so how did the other interested parties take your news? Were they kind and accommodating or angry and resentful?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one!

2 thoughts on “Pressured to Spend”

  1. You determine your personal boundaries regarding certain situations….gifts/vacations/lifestyle/etc. When your friends bump up against the boundary you speak up. After a few times, they will be trained and educated about your boundaries. Folks that repeatedly challenge your boundaries should be reevaluated. It's a process and doesn't happen overnight…little by little

  2. People always try to pressure you to spend, but in the heat of the moment, learn to say no and you'll be thankful later on.


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