Earlier this week, I wrote a post called Do Women Still Want to Marry for Money? Many women weighed in on the topic. Some suggested that men prefer to be the primary provider for their families.
Men Are Providers
Men are providers, but do they want to be? While it’s true that many men make more money than their wives, I wonder how many of them prefer it that way. For a few years, just before my husband and I were married, I made more than he did.
It wasn’t a significant difference. Overall I brought in about 20% more per paycheck. During this time, my husband jokingly called me his sugar-momma. Honestly, I think he was proud that I could contribute financially to our future goals. My larger paycheck never caused an issue for either of us.
Being a Provider for Your Family
When we first talked about having children (we don’t have any yet), my husband said he’d like to spend some time at home with our kids. He said many of his male friends and coworkers would accept the position if they had the opportunity.
I’m fascinated by this topic because, as a woman in an exceedingly male-dominated industry (software development). I meet many miserable husbands and fathers who would rather be anywhere than working 9-to-5 in a cubicle.
When I talk to them about money, they often say they wish their wives worked and made more. Many men I know are shocked when their children go off to school, and their wives want to continue to stay at home. The men I know are bothered by the outcome of their lives.
Main Provider For Your Family
71% of adults still believe a man won’t make a good partner unless he supports his family financially. Only 32% feel it is essential for a wife to fulfill the same role.
I’d love to hear men weigh in on this topic. Do you want to be the primary financial provider for your family, or were you pressured into the role? Do you enjoy being the main provider of your family or feel burdened by that task?
If you feel forced into this position, do you think society or your upbringing pressured you? Do you believe a man should be the main provider for his family? Do you feel burdened by this idea?
Should the Man be the Provider?
In other words, do you think you make more money because you believe that men should make a lot of money and provide for their families? Of course, there is no right or wrong answer. But I wonder, regardless of your situation, are you happy in the role that you play in it?
I received an email the other day from a man who asked, “If the man is the provider, what is the woman?” We could also ask the question in reverse, “If the woman is the provider, what is the man?”
Both questions are ridiculous. Men and women provide value beyond their ability to earn money, but unfortunately, society doesn’t always recognize that. Also, men are providers, but it’s clear from the men I’ve spoken to that they don’t always like that.